Monday, January 3, 2011

Music and hookerware

I'm not going to pretend that there's any class involved in stripping. In fact as I recently told one of my regulars a "Mr. Tall Dark and Brooding" the great equalizer of all strippers is seeing them face down ass up writhing on the floor. No matter how much you payed for those tits darlin, no matter how much you spent on your hair, nails, costumes or other senseless trivials that you think make you so much "better" than then new girl, with no moves and no clothes and no skills, the playing field is completely leveled when you're sticking you ass in the air for a room full of disinterested drunks who for the most part don't honestly notice one girl from the next.

Sure you get your die-hards, the ones who notice every freckle and tattoo, the ones who have probably complimented your eye color or may ask you when you change your hair style, I'm not going to pretend that those guys don't exist. They do. And I suppose in someways those guys make up for the disenchanted drunks who only keep coming back because it's part of their routine, or they get on well with the bar tender, or (as pointed out to me by another of my favourite regulars) "It's the closest bar within reasonable stumbling distance to home". 

The thing is, like any other job, most of the strippers I've met like to feel like they do a good job of their "work". They choose their music based on what they like to dance to, or what kind of mood their in, their outfits reflect their personality to some extent - as an aside to that, one of my girlfriends recently quit dancing and offered me first go at her wardrobe, she has acknowledged this is likely just a hiatus from the job but didn't want the clothes cluttering up her space so I found myself with damn near and entire stripper-drobe of HOT PINK EVERYTHING. Now I'm not so much of a hot-pink leopard print type myself, though I'm trying to rock some of the more neutral stuff she's sent my way, I've gotta say it's made me realize just how individual a lot of the clothing and just general style each girl puts into her "work wear".

For me as a sometimes stripper (I believe my official title in the bar I work in is a "waitress" and the stripping part general only happens as a fill-in when dancers no-show or there's a gap in the line up), I find I can get away with mini-dresses and low cut blouses for the most part, where as the "real strippers" often have very elaborate costumes often costing them hundreds of dollars for "custom made" outfits, which really I'm quite convinced are not so custom made, and instead are just brilliantly marketed by the 2-3 women in the city who make costumes to fit most anyone on the "stripper spectrum" from the 5'1 100lb waif with a crack habit to the 6'1 curvy girl with the boob job. It amazes me how much of a range there is in the types of women who find themselves in this profession, and also, mad props to the women who make the costumes who can somehow do very little alteration to their garments and still have them fit women on both extremes of the spectrum.

The point of this post which I swear I am getting to was to be about the music, anything that makes the top 40 is obviously going to be in high rotation, also most things by Nickleback, or any other pop group that likes to ramble on about strippers (has anyone else noticed that pretty much all of Nickelback's Dark Horse album was stripper tunes?) and of course the hip-hop and rap get a lot of play time too. For me well I have a more eclectic taste in music, my favourite DJ (ok one of  my two-favourite DJ's) is pretty well guaranteed to have me dance to the Eagles Hotel California at least once in a night, which of course is my own private joke with myself about how addictive the industry can be.
Specifically this version.

Of course this begs the question "So what kind of music DO YOU LIKE?" I'm a jazz fan, I like my blues, my classic rock, and folk. Not exactly "hot sexy strippa shite". That's ok though, I don't intend to market myself as a stripper until the end of time.

In fact mostly because at this point I'm rather bored with my job I'm going to make it my goal for the month of January to dance to at least ONE song per shift, that I enjoy that wouldn't ordinarily make the playlist for the club.

I'm next there on Wednesday and I think my goal for then will be a song my best girlfriend has been subjecting me to ad nauseum lately the singer is Adele and the song is "Rolling In The Deep" it's brilliant lyrically and her voice is magnificent. We'll see what kind of effect this little experiment has on my tips for the month. My tips vary a lot from month to month anyway, but sometimes I do notice discernible patterns in increase or decrease depending on everything from my mood (amazingly enough bitchy strippers make less money), to what color I wear at what time of the month, to what I weigh, to what I dance to, and about 20 or so other variables that I've tracked over the two years I've been doing this job (and clearly have been under stimulated intellectually if I'm tracing this kind of shit, but really I have excel sheets and everything) so this will be my little experiment to keep me entertained for the month of January.

And as with this blog, and most things in my life in general, I feel I should add the disclaimer that I am doing this experiment (and blogging about it) purely for my own entertainment.

I will try my best not to harm any strippers or customers in the making of the blog.

1 comment:

  1. I'm on a rant here, either you'll love me or refuse to serve me. I can't help but admit most of what you observe of men. I was indeed one of those sad dollar throwing few.

    As you well now a few of us can and have made your local a stop. In my case at least it has become more about the personalities who haunt the bar. Maids, tenders and locals, vagrants included.

    Perhaps a select few of us have evolved, I don't know. I still enjoy a good pole dance from Felix from time to time.